Cat Sitting
by Professor Wolfie
Summary: Some of the world's greatest hero's face their worst enemy yet. This enemy... Natasha Romanoff's cat...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I'm in the progress of working on my new story 'Asgard's Avengers' And I've run into writers block. So this is based on actual experiences that have happened to me, and its a very iffy one shot. I'm not even sure I like it. I may or may not delete it depending on the response I get.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

Cat sitting.

When Natasha asked Steve to go to one of her many apartments and take care of her cat and water her plants for a week, Steve said sure. He honestly didn't even know she had a cat. When he questioned her about it, the answer he got was, "Ehh he's less a pet and more a prize from a Russian diplomat guy I killed. I tried to give it away, but no one wanted the demon." Steve then said the cat couldn't be that bad, and Natasha simply laughed and shook her head at his naivety.

She showed him around her crappy apartment and gave him instructions. Then she introduced him to Cat, which is what she began calling him, because she had no desire to keep him and had no clue what his name was. Steve thought the one eyed, pure bred Russian tabby cat was misunderstood. Although it eyed him in a horrifying way, as if to say, 'How dare you look at me and steal my master from me,' Steve brushed it off and Natasha told him that Clint wouldn't watch Cat anymore. Steve questioned her about why, but she just snorted and said she wished she didn't have to ask him to do this. Natasha almost never felt guilty about things she asked or did (at least not the things she asked or did after the red room).

But Steve agreed to do it and it was too late to back down. He watched as Natasha got on the Quinjet and left…

And that's how the horror began…

It wasn't too bad at first. Steve went into the apartment, watered her plants, made sure her extremely old refrigerator was still hanging on to dear life, gave Cat his food and water, and cleaned the litter box. It was simple at first. He did what needed to be done as Cat eyed him carefully with a calculating stare while he did his chores. However, on the second day, it all went to hell. Cat had disappeared. Steve searched frantically thinking that maybe the cat was hiding, hoping it didn't somehow get out.

But then Steve got the horrible feeling that he was being watched. Every time he turned around, nothing was there. Resigning to the fact that Cat must be stalking him, he began to do what needed to be done. Nat's fridge had stopped working and, following her orders, he placed all perishable items in the freezer because, quoting Natasha, "I'm forty percent sure that this freezer is at least a degree colder than the fridge. So it may or may not last longer."

After Steve had finished with the fridge, he fed and gave Cat water, though Cat was still nowhere to be seen. He then filled up a pitcher of water and went to water Natasha's plants, which were sitting on her windowsill. That's where he found Cat, watching him with its single, disturbing, piercing, green eye staring at him. Steve eyed Cat wearily as he watered the last plant. He was just about to turn towards the kitchen and that's when it happened.

Cat leapt forward, unleashing his dangerous claws and latching onto Steve's face and neck. Biting Steve's nose and sinking his claws into Steve's golden hair and scalp. Steve let out a (manly…) squeal and fell backward with a loud thud. He didn't want to hurt the cat, but he also didn't want to lose his eyes or nose. He grasped the cat and yanked it off his face and threw it away from him, as gently as possible.

Steve got up and scrambled to the door, slamming it behind him. He leaned up against the door, breathing heavily. He felt his face, his nose was bleeding pretty badly, and so was his neck, forehead and scalp. The apartment door in front of him slowly opened, revealing a woman in her mid-twenties, "Oh my god! Are you alright?!" She ran to him holding a wet dishrag.

"Yeah I'm fine," Steve said with a weak smile and wiped off some blood.

"You don't look fine," the woman said, "What happened?" She asked and handed him the wet cloth.

He wiped off his wounds with the cloth, "Cat sitting for Natalie."

"I didn't even know she had a cat. Much less a boyfriend," she said with a chuckle.

Steve blushed and handed her back the bloody rag, "No, no. I'm not her boyfriend. I'm just a coworker and friend."

"Okay sure. I have to go; be careful," she said with a smirk and she turned and went back into her apartment.

Steve groaned in frustration and put his head down against the door. He had finished all his tasks for the day… However, tomorrow he'd be prepared; tomorrow he'd have backup. Iron Man style.

….

Back at his own apartment, Steve sat down silently in his recliner and stared down at his Stark phone. He knew that later he would regret calling and asking for help. But he was not going into that apartment alone again. No Siree, not again. With a sigh, he dialed Stark's number and put the phone to his ear and listened to it ring.

_"__Hey Capsicle! What's up?"_

"Hi Tony. I need to ask for a favor. I…"

_"__Lemmie guess! You wanna move into the tower! That, or you finally figured out that Red's a lost cause, and you want me to set you up on a date!"_

Steve sighed in frustration; he knew he'd regret calling, "Tony, I'm watching Natasha's apartment and taking care of her cat while she's gone. It attacked me, and scratched me up pretty good. He bit my nose. I need your help distracting it or something just so I don't get attacked again."

He could hear Tony laughing, "Shut up Stark."

_"__Okay, I'm sorry; oh god that's hilarious … and what will you do for me if I help you?"_

"I don't know, I'll let you choose," immediately after the words exited his mouth, Steve knew it was a mistake.

_"__You move into the tower!"_

Steve groaned, "Forget it."

_"__No, no, no! Wait! You'll just owe me a favor when it comes up,"_ Tony actually enjoyed spending time with Cap, he just annoyed the crap out of Steve. Plus a favor from Captain America, who would give that up?

"Deal."

_"__Coolness."_

"I'll call you tomorrow with her address when I'm ready to leave."

_"__Mmk. See you then Capsicle. I'll have to show you how to take care of a cat."_

"Yeah whatever goodbye," Steve hung up and sighed. It was pretty embarrassing that a cat took down Captain America, but what could he do. So he recruited one of the only people as powerful as him. Of all people a cat could take down, it took down Captain America… You think about that for a minute.

….

The next afternoon, Steve and Tony stood outside Natasha's apartment building together, staring towards the run-down building.

"This place is disgusting," Tony deadpanned, staring at the building.

"Come on," Steve said, and he led Tony into the building and then to Natasha's apartment door.

"Seriously, this place is a rat hole," Tony said as Steve put the key into the door knob and unlocked the door.

Steve sighed and opened the door, there sat the one eyed cat, Cat, sitting on the coffee table staring at them. "Well that's unnerving," Tony muttered as they walked in.

"Okay, you occupy Cat while I get out his food and water then take care of the plants," Steve ordered, and went to the fridge to make sure nothing had spoiled – stuff had. He then went to clean up the water he spilled when Cat attacked him.

"This place is so gross; I don't like that she lives here," Tony commented, eyeing the cat wearily.

"I know. I told her she could stay in my apartment but she said she had five apartments that she used for each of her identities. She said she rarely stayed at this one, but she had to rotate each apartment, bringing Cat with her," Steve tried to explain as he started to clean the litter box.

"First of all, who names their cat Cat? And second, when are you gonna ask her out?" Tony questioned and then blew his nose, he looked like he had a cold, but knowing Tony he wouldn't give up a chance to harass Steve.

"She said Cat was more of a trophy from some important person she killed. And I'm not going to ask her out. She's way out of my league," Steve replied.

Cat then snatched the tissue out of Tony's hand and ran off, hiding himself under the sofa. "Can't he choke on that?" Steve asked with wide eyes.

"I don't know!" Tony said growing frantic. If he kills Natasha's cat, she'll kill him.

"I don't know either! Go get it from him!" Steve ordered.

"Why me?!"

"Don't argue; just do it!"

"Fine!" Tony crawled down on the floor, "Oh this is so gross," he grumbled in his whiny voice. Then he lifted the skirt of the sofa and saw Cat's butt directly in front of his face. Tony went wide eyed. Cats were known to spray urine … and true to their nature, that's exactly what Cat did, right in Tony's face and eyes. Tony screamed and then hit his head on the sofa, "IT PISSED IN MY EYES!" He screamed.

"WHAT!?" Steve dropped the water pitcher filled with water and grabbed Tony. Cat urine was extremely rich in ammonia and could be deadly. "Oh my god! We have to take you to the hospital!" Steve yelled and grabbed Tony leading him out the door.

"IT BURNS!" Tony screamed. He was crying and his eyes were shut tight.

Steve quickly drove Tony to the hospital, with Tony screaming the entire way, "I'm never cat sitting with you again!" alternating with, "I'm gonna go blind!" and the best one, "I hate you so much! It burns man!"

….

At the hospital, Steve and Tony recited the tale of what had happened. The doctor and nurses tried not to laugh, but Steve could see their smiles and silent chuckles. Thankfully, Tony didn't have to see the snickers because his eyes were burning so bad that he kept them shut tight.

The doctor exited the examining room and returned with a basin of warm water and some eye cleansing solution. He washed out Tony's eyes and took a tox screen to make sure Tony didn't get too much ammonia in his system. The doctor then prescribed medicine for Tony to take and drops for his eyes. He then bandaged Tony's eyes and then wrapped a bandage around Tony's head, telling Tony to keep his eyes closed and under the wraps for the rest of the day. Much to Steve's frustration, the doctor advised Steve to get rid of the cat.

As they left the hospital, Steve held Tony by the shoulder and led him out, the doctor had also given Tony a cane to help him walk safely while his eyes were bandaged. "I hate you Steve," Tony said blandly as they exited the hospital. Steve was pretty sure that was the first time Tony had ever used his actual name.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I'm so sorry Tony." Steve really did feel horrible, poor Tony. This was all his fault. If he hadn't asked Tony to help him, this wouldn't have happened. Plus now, Coulson would have to fill out an incident report, which wouldn't help the situation. On top of that, Fury was gonna be pissed.

"Fuck you! I could have gone blind!" Tony was being overdramatic now. Well, no he really could have, but he didn't.

"I said I'm sorry Tony, but I didn't do it. Be mad at Cat!" Steve reasoned.

"Just get me to the car. You get to deal with Pepper's wrath when she finds out."

….

Steve drove Tony to Avengers Tower. He slowly led Tony into the tower and to the lab, where Bruce could watch and take care of him. "I hate you," Tony muttered.

"You've said it ten times already. I get it. You hate me."

"I just want to get my point across," Tony grumbled.

They walked through the hallway leading to the lab and JARVIS opened the doors for them, "Tony, would you mind getting me some tea?" Bruce asked, not looking up from his work.

"I am physically incapable of doing so. Sorry Brucie."

"Tony that's…" Bruce turned around to see them. He smirked, "Should I ask?"

"No," Steve said and then he led Tony to a chair.

"I'm gonna ask anyway," Bruce said with a grin and took off his glasses looking at them both. He noticed faint scaring on Steve's face. The super soldier had stages of scaring. It was ridiculous. But the scaring looked a lot like fang and claw marks. Bruce smirked pointed at Steve, "You first."

"It's terrifying…," Steve said staring with wide horrified eyes, remembering Cat.

"It's demonic…," Tony whimpered out.

"What is?" Bruce asked.

"Natasha's cat. It's like Satan had sex with a Russian tiger, and that was the result," Tony muttered and Steve nodded in agreement.

Bruce laughed, "Guys, it's a cat."

"Oh no it's not just a cat. It watches you; it knows what its doing," Steve said.

"Okay, what happened to you Tony?" Bruce decided to move on, figuring Tony's injury was the product of a hair brained scheme he managed to talk Steve into.

"The cat… It pissed in my eyes," his voice cracked with horror.

"What!?" Bruce looked at the two like they were crazy.

"I went to get my tissue out of its mouth, because we thought it might choke. But…"

"It probably wouldn't have choked. Do you two know anything about cats?" Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's different Bruce! Honestly it is!" Steve defended.

"Yeah, now let me finish! Now when I went under the sofa to get the tissue…"

"Why would you leave a tissue sitting around? Why wouldn't you just throw it in the trash?" Bruce asked.

"Whose story is this any way!?" Tony yelled.

"Carry on," Bruce said quietly.

"It pissed in my eyes," Tony mumbled.

"A cat pissed in your eyes. And you're Iron Man. And you, Captain America, were attacked by said cat… Okay, well now the world can know the Avengers are failures," Bruce joked.

"Go see for yourself Bruce! It's horrible; I swear it could kill the Hulk!" Tony exaggerated.

"Tony I highly doubt…"

"Bruce, its pure evil," Steve said seriously.

"Guy's you're over exaggerating."

"No we are not!" Steve insisted.

"Go with Steve and see for yourself," Tony ordered.

"No Tony, if the cat got to him, we'd be risking the Hulk," Steve said.

"Oh your right."

"Alright… I have to go back…," Steve said and started for the door, Tony laughed and Bruce rolled his eyes.

….

Steve stood outside Natasha's apartment trying to figure out what to do next. He decided to ask Clint for help. He dialed Clint's number. Cat has stricken down two Avengers, surely the great Hawkeye, who had taken care of Cat many times, would be able to help.

"Hey Cap!"

"Hi Clint, would you help me with Natasha's cat."

Clint laughed, "Yeah, uh, no."

"But Clint, please. It attacked me, and urinated in Tony's eyes."

He heard hysterical laughter over the phone, and something that sounded like a falling chair. Steve sighed and Clint got back on the phone, "Yeah, I'm not helping you. Have fun with the demon Cat, Cap," and with that, the call ended.

Steve sighed, but that's when the idea hit him. Thor.

The thickest head on the Avengers team. Steve felt kinda bad taking advantage of Thor's ignorance. But certainly a god could handle a cat from earth. Besides, Thor loved earth animals, he was fascinated with them, especially species of cats. Steve remembered the Avengers' trip to the zoo. It ended with getting banned from the zoo for life because Thor climbed into the tiger enclosure.

Steve dialed Thor's number. And immediately got an answer, "Hello?" The booming voice answered the phone entirely too loud, he still didn't understand that you didn't have to yell into a phone.

"Hey Thor. I need your help-"

"Are you injured!?"

"No, I…"

"Are you in battle and in need of I and my power!?"

"No! Thor listen. I'm watching Natasha's cat, and it's kinda mean, so I just need your help watching and distracting the cat while I clean up and do some stuff."

"Of course Lord Steven! I enjoy Cats! They are fabulous creatures! Where and when must I meet you!?" Thor asked, sounding a little too excited.

"Is now okay?" Steve asked. He needed to clean up the spilled water, and he still hadn't watered the plants.

"Of course!" Steve gave him the address and they said their 'goodbyes and see you soons' and then they hung up. And Steve waited for Thor to arrive.

Oh this would be interesting. Steve thought.

….

Steve met Thor outside the apartment building and led him inside to Natasha's apartment.

Steve stood in front of the door, "Alright Thor, be careful. This cat isn't very nice."

"What is its name?" he asked.

"Cat," Steve said and he unlocked the door.

"Cat! A fitting name for the creature!"

The door opened and they saw Cat watching them. Thor walked in and slammed the door behind him "Cat! Hello my friend!" Thor's booming voice must have scared Cat because it backed up. Steve went wide eyed in amazement. Thor then scooped up Cat and held him up with a smile; Cat looked completely horrified. "It is alright Cat! I am a friend! My name is Thor!" Thor then wrapped his arms around Cat in a gentle hug and rocked him back and forth. Steve's jaw dropped as he watched the encounter.

Taking advantage of Cat's peacefulness, Steve went to work cleaning up the water he had dropped to help Tony. He listened to Thor in the background, "You are indeed a magnificent creature! Like a small grey tiger!" Thor said happily and he pet Cat's head with his whole hand, Thor looked so happy while Cat looked frustrated and angry. Who knows … Steve was sure the cat had emotions though.

Steve began to water the plants and continued to listen, "I do not understand why Lord Steven said you were mean! You are gentle and kind," Thor held Cat out in front of him with his arms extended, holding Cat like a child would hold a puppy, cat pawed at Thor's nose. Thor grinned and pulled Cat back to him hugging Cat and petting him.

Steve shook his head in astonishment, "Come on Thor. I'm finished, lets go."

Thor put Cat down on the table and smiled, "Goodbye Cat! I hope to see you again!" The two heroes walked out and Thor slammed the door again.

As they walked out of the apartment building, "So, Thor, would you like to help me out for the rest of the week with this?" Steve asked.

"Indeed I would, I will miss my new friend Cat!"

….

Thor and Steve worked together the remainder of the week taking care of Cat and the other chores in Natasha's apartment.

The day after Natasha's mission ended, there was a knock on the door of Steve's apartment. Steve got up and answered the door; he saw a beautiful red head by the name of Natasha, "Hey! How was your mission?"

"Good as could be expected."

Steve chuckled, "So, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"To pick up the key to my apartment. Again I wanna thank you so much, I don't know how to repay you," she smiled at him.

Feeling courageous after listening to Tony's frustrating words, "Well uhh, a coffee date would be good repayment," he gave her a shy smile as he could feel the heat rise in his cheeks.

"I think I can do that," she smirked and watched Steve reach over and grab her apartment key out of the bowl. He handed it to her, "Everything went okay, right?" she asked quietly, stuffing the key in her pocket.

Steve smiled and shook his head, "Everything went fine. Except your fridge did stop working so I put all perishables in the freezer," he informed.

She nodded, "And Cat. He wasn't too much trouble?"

He gave her the smile he had learned to put on way back in the forties when he was a show monkey, and he shook his head, "Oh no, not at all; he was perfect."

Well… you can guess how the conversation turned into an interrogation.

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**How was it? Tell me what you think!**


	2. Notice!

**Hey Cat Sitting fans, check out my second installment of Cat Sitting:**

**Cat Sitting 2: The Rise Of Cat!**

**Its Steve's second time facing off with Cat, and its not going well, not to mention Cat's newest ally has joined him to torture Steve.**

**Thanks guys, I posted it late yesterday, check it out!**


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